Her. By: Jesus “Jesse” Diaz

She had never been there for me

She had me in her grasps under her thumb

She had me, mirrored me towards her own emotions

I wish I had raised more heart and emotion

I wish I could have let everything out

I wish I could have screamed at the top of my lungs

I never had the room to mentally heal

I never had the ability to cry physically

I never had a point to raise my voice

I wanted it to be okay

I wanted myself to stay happy

I wanted my friend to not have tried anymore

I don’t think I have it in me much longer

I don’t think it was possible

I don’t think she loves me anymore

I can’t foresee what comes next

I can’t foresee feelings of sadness

I can’t relay my emotions

Don’t hurt her

Never hurt her

Stay strong for her pain

You think she’s suffering?

You think you are a help?

You think maybe she can stay?

Keep to the rhythm and say it more

Keep to your rhythm and help your friend

Keep to her rhythm and be there for her

You paid for this and bought this

You paid for the chance to be an aid

You paid to change your plans for the future

Cannot change, never change

Try to breathe 

Try to be the one who people feel things from

A single shot per line was a single shot in the dark

A single shot for you

A single shot never was not enough

You only needed a shot

To never fuck your shot

To never eat shit on the shot

The shot you had was your clear

The shot made yourself fuck up and pile among the fear 

You were simply a soft satchel on a horse

Just there for people who needed you 

I cannot live with that

You deserved better

Better is what you can get

Better is what may await

Being better is to be intact one on one with your shot